The Sacred and the Mundane

I've a confession to make. It's an admittance of addiction. Addiction to stillness and silence. To the whispers of spirit and the taste of cacao on my lips. The safety net that was woven around me through the discovery of my spiritual self eventually lured me into a false sense of security. A longing for a belief that my faith was all that was needed. My dedication to solitude and 'just being' was all I had to do.

I donned the hat of ceremonialist, facilitator and space holder. I stepped into a role that I felt comfortable with, believing that I was these things, when really I longed to stay bound in the net of safety. It worked for a while, but soon the novelty wore off and the room was just a room. I was just a person. My expectations had shifted. My role became a burden, that is not what I was longing for. What was I to do? What happened to me?

I had walked through a phase of life, much like childhood or school, I had shaped myself to fit a vision that I believed was my purpose, I let the numbers fade telling myself it was meant to be. I allowed the solitude to become loneliness because spirit wanted me to wait. Or did they? I discovered the smallness that I was told I had shed once more.

Then came Barbault's basket - The celestial bodies form a vessel that needs to be emptied before it is filled. My life has been how I emptied it. How we all empty it. Swimming around in what was, what was, what was. In order to come to the place of emptiness. But not emptiness that is loneliness, quite the opposite - the emptiness of a sacred vessel waiting to be filled with what is, what is, what is. Feeling hollow because it no longer fits. Knowing that there is a place to be filled with what we all are.

The world and the galaxy are made up of the individual parts that make them a whole. The body is made of individual parts that make the whole. When one part is what was, it can never be what is. Light must shine on the whole until the one is transformed or transmuted. Alchemy. Openness. Space. Wisdom flows in where space is. Emptiness, loneliness, solitude, silence - they are all but spaces for space.

How the lens can change.

Now I realise that life is for living. That my life was both on hold and needed to be full. I gauged the situation through a lens of whole and part, and saw only union.

Every moment of what was, is Sacred and Divine. every part of it leads to what is being formed. The evolution of life is the constant in breath and out breath and the sacred pause in between. One only exists with the other. Just like the Sacred and the mundane.

Now my addiction seems plentiful again, cacao tastes sweet once more, and my neteru family laughs at my silliness. But silliness is all it is, and silliness is as Sacred as entering a temple at twilight. Silliness shapes people.

I am a facilitator, and a space holder - I hold space for myself, for my daughter and my family. I hold space for the Divine to speak and commune. I facilitate love moving through my body, my home and my life. I facilitate joy and happiness. Now I am those things in part and in wholeness, just as I am everything else. Oh how sweet the cacao tastes once again as I realise I am Sacred and Mundane.

Aho.